Speaking from the Heart: 7 Essential Communication Tips for Couples

Communication is one of the biggest downfalls of otherwise healthy relationships. For the benefit of your relationship, check out these communication tips.

Numerous studies have identified poor communication as the leading cause for breaking up. These 7 communication tips will improve your relationship.

Poor communication is a major reason why people seek couples therapy. It’s also a top reason why couples divorce. Mastering couples communication is the best thing you can do for your love life.

Here are 7 crucial communication tips for couples.

1. Be Honest

couple-on-the-background-of-a-windowHonesty is the most important feature of communication. Without honesty, communication is inherently flawed.

Truth and trust are essential components of healthy relationships. Partners trust each other to be honest. The truth can hurt to hear, but lying hurts your relationship more.

True honesty involves being truthful with yourself as well as your partner.

Being honest isn’t a license to be rude. It’s about being transparent about your thoughts with your partner. Always be considerate when sharing your opinions and perspectives with your partner.

2. Practice Active Listening

smiling-lovely-young-couple-talking-and-lookingActive listening is one of the most significant communication skills for couples you’ll ever learn. Active listening is making a conscious effort to fully comprehend what someone is saying. It involves understanding someone’s words and the larger picture at hand.

To practice active listening, you must remain in the moment. Focus only on what your partner is communicating with you. Don’t get distracted or give your attention to anything other than your partner.

Don’t use your partner’s speaking time for developing counter-arguments. Once your partner is done speaking, say something that confirms you understand what they said. For instance, if your partner complains about always being the one who takes out the trash, say something like, “It sounds like you’re upset at me for not taking out the trash. I’ll try to do it next time.”

Whatever you do, always keep this next tip in mind:

3. Don’t Interrupt

serious-couple-husband-and-wife-in-bedroomWhen someone you love is speaking, don’t interrupt them. Interruptions have no place in healthy couples communication.

So you thought of a good point to make while your partner was speaking? You still need to wait until your partner is done to make that point.

When you don’t let someone finish speaking, you’re hindering communication. Interruptions take the focus away from the larger picture. They also lead to arguments and a fragmented understanding of issues.

Letting your partner speak their mind is a sign of respect. Don’t disrespect your partner by interrupting them.

If you interrupt your partner, be sure to do the following:

4. Apologize

husband-asks-his-wife-for-forgivenessIf you do something wrong, apologize for it. Taking accountability involves holding yourself responsible for your actions.

Refusing much-needed apologies to your partner is relationship poison. If you’re guilty of wrongdoing, own up to it and say you’re sorry. Don’t make excuses for yourself or blame your partner.

Not apologizing when necessary breeds resentment in relationships. Resentment makes otherwise sweet relationships go sour.

An apology alone might not solve a problem, but it can inspire healing. If you value your relationship, you’ll say sorry when it’s called for.

5. Talk In Person

young-couple-arguing-in-a-cafe-relationshipHere’s the thing about couples communicating in the modern world: a lot of communication is digital. Couples today probably swap more text messages than kisses.

The importance of in-person communication can’t be understated. The majority of communication is non-verbal. Without body language, you’re missing out on an entire dimension of communication.

If you need to talk about something important with your partner, try not to discuss it via text messaging. If possible, wait until you’re both in each other’s physical presence to talk.

If you can’t talk in person, use a video chatting app like FaceTime or Skype to communicate. Seeing your partner’s facial expressions and hearing their tone gives you more relationship insight than texts do.

Make texting a last resort for important issues. Miscommunications are more likely to happen via text.

6. Watch Your Tone and Language

HappycouplesBe mindful of your tone. If your tone is negative, it shapes the vibe of what you’re saying. You could be saying something completely neutral, but if your tone is negative, your partner will receive your message as negative.

If you get into a disagreement with your partner, don’t resort to sarcasm or belittling. Sarcastic and belittling tones convey disrespect. Disrespect has no place in a healthy relationship.
Be careful with your words. They can cause harm if you’re not careful. Never say something with the intention of hurting your partner.

Always use respectful language when communicating with your partner. If you’re not going to say something respectfully, then don’t say it at all.

7. Express Your Appreciation

couple-of-tourists-excursion-between-skyscrapersMake it a point to express your appreciation for your partner. Expressing appreciation for your partner will make them feel loved and happy. It also shows that you value your partner as a person.

Saying what you appreciate about your partner will make you feel grateful. When you’re feeling grateful, you’re embracing gratitude. Gratitude improves your mental health and relationships.
When you’re being grateful, you’re being positive. Being grateful for your partner brings that positivity into your relationship. It also validates your partner’s good qualities.

Whenever your partner does something you appreciate, give them verbal recognition for it. It’ll make your partner feel good about themselves and the relationship.

Use These Communication Tips to Show Your Love

Over 90% of people in relationships text their partners at least once a day. Use these 7 communication tips to sweeten up your relationship.

When you text your sweetheart, you have more time to craft a clever message. There’s no pressure to respond immediately like there is in real life. However, texting won’t give you the connection that communicating in person will.

Take your communication skills to the next level and book a therapy appointment. Your relationship will thank you for it.